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Forgiveness. Freedom. Fairness.
These
are all good words. They are noble words.
We want
forgiveness, most especially when we are the ones who have done wrong.
We all
want to be free. Freedom is among the most cherished virtues in our
culture.
And
fairness—Lord knows we want things to be fair, just, and right.
The
problem is that when we have been wronged, these three words can seem
utterly incompatible.
I have
had a handful of conversations just over the past few weeks where the
topic of forgiveness has come up—particularly the difficulty of
forgiveness. In some cases, the hurt happened decades ago, and the
honest confession was, “I still haven’t fully been able to forgive.” Pastorally, it has been a theme these
past few weeks. Forgiveness is real, it is hard, and it regularly does
not come naturally—myself included.
Naturally
is an important word, though. I chose it intentionally, because
forgiveness, freedom, and fairness naturally pull against one another.
Forgiveness
that requires fairness as a precondition is likely a pipe dream. If I
can only forgive once everything has been made right, every wrong
acknowledged, every apology offered, and every debt repaid, I will
likely never get to forgiveness.
Freedom
without forgiveness is fragile. We may be free from the person, place,
or circumstance while still carrying deep wounds, replaying the
offense, and allowing what happened to continue shaping us.
And
fairness, pursued without forgiveness, can quietly become an
unrelenting demand. We want the scales balanced. We want the wrong
answered. We want the hurt to matter.
(Fairness is most often where I get stuck—and
apparently, this may be genetic, because it seems hardwired into our
middle son as well. Kids regularly serve as a humbling mirror, but I
digress.)
It is only
in Jesus that forgiveness, freedom, and fairness can
each be fully present without competing with one another.
Jesus is
our anchor for forgiveness because forgiveness and reconciliation are
not merely things he taught; they are the ministry he carried in
himself. At the cross, forgiveness, freedom, and fairness finally meet.
Fairness: The wrong is not ignored, excused, or renamed. Sin is
dealt with—atoned for, covered.
Forgiveness: Jesus’ words from the cross say it plainly: “It is
finished.” Done. Dealt with.
Freedom: Because the debt has been dealt with, we are set free.
Free from guilt and free for relationship with the Father, Son, and
Holy Spirit.
At the
cross, Jesus resolves eternally what we could never resolve
ourselves—and gives us the freedom to begin living it now.
In
Matthew, as Jesus sends out the Twelve, he gives them these words. He
gives them to us as well: “Freely you have received; freely give.” Amen.
“To be a
Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the
inexcusable in you.”
—C.S.
Lewis
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