Out of the Darkness....Into the Light! By Patrick McGinnis

 

So, if you recall from last week’s post, a few days prior to landing in the hospital a few weeks ago, Stephanie and I were enjoying God’s amazing underground creation of Linville Caverns, near Linville Falls, North Carolina. It was incredible! So many colors, formations, textures, blind trout, and a “bottomless” lake, which without realization we stood directly over on a narrow walkway, until the tour guide informed us of our position! It was all quite remarkable!

The coolest experience, though, was when we went as far into the caverns as was passable. Beyond that, the ceiling quickly reduced to approximately 18” and stayed that way for ½ mile before opening up into another series of caverns. Fun fact! According to the tour guide, in the late 1800’s Thomas Edison traversed that ½ mile of 18” tall crawl space, through several inches of water, in search of platinum necessary for the invention of the light bulb! He didn’t find any, but he did sign the wall of the cavern.

Another fun fact about such underground caverns. The natural environment is one of absolute darkness…zero light! So, prior to the invention of the light bulb and flashlights, etc, the only light available was oil burning lamps which could produce a radius of light approximately 8’ in total. Not much light, when directly beyond is absolute darkness! Then, right there, the tour guide announced that he was going to turn out the lights so we could experience that complete lack of light, and the sensation of absolute darkness, for ourselves. We all put our hands up in front of our faces, then click. No light whatsoever, for about a minute. What a strange sensation, to have no ability whatsoever to adapt to the darkness as we would in the above ground world!

After the tour, Stephanie and I talked about what we had just experienced. She was particularly moved by the experience of absolute darkness…no light…and how that correlated to our individual lives, and the state of our marriage before coming to Christ and into recovery. Micah 7:8 says, “Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light.” And light up our lives, he most certainly did! We were both so deeply reminded of His great love for us, and for the depths and darkness of the abyss from which we had been…and continue to be…resurrected! Praise and Thank God!!!

Then, of course, a few short days later I was hospitalized in Orlando, unable to walk, unable to be of use to Stephanie, or to our family, or to our Celebrate Recovery family. These feelings of helplessness combined with sleeplessness, and the sheer amount of pain from which no relief came prior to the medical team bringing it under control, resulted in my descending into a personal darkness. It was terrible and relentless, and fears that this may be my new normal, that this insane pain might never go away began to creep in! But thank God for Stephanie, and many of my forever family at church and CR who visited me and prayed with and for me! They just loved on me…and I needed that! I was helpless, and by the grace of God and the 12 Steps and the Principles of our Celebrate Recovery program, I now have a choice to reach out my hand in desperation to God and my recovery friends. And I now have a choice to not abuse pain medication, or alcohol, or other dangerous and negative forces, as I most certainly would have before coming to Christ and into recovery! Again, I have been given a design for living that works in rough going!

 And through it all, there was the constant presence of God in my spirit and in my mind. Psalm 18:28 says, “You, LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.” And John 1:5, “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

Slowly…seemingly eternally…the medical team was guided to figure out what was wrong, and come up first with a strategy to treat the pain, and then the multiple issues of back/hip/neurological damage. Very gradually the pain began to decrease, and I was released from the hospital and into the care of an Ortho Back Specialist and other doctors, as well as physical therapy. I’m so grateful for friends who drove me to appointments, until I could finally get around well enough to start driving myself a few days ago! Praise God! Galatians 6:2 says, "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ."

This morning I was able to walk, such as it is, unassisted into our church with Stephanie. There I was greeted by people who love me, and care about me…and most importantly who have been praying for me. Isaiah 60:1 says, “Arise, shine; for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.” The light of the Lord has once again brought me out of that personal cavern of darkness! He’s picked me up and set me on my feet in the powerful and infinite glow of His amazing light. And I am on the well-lighted path back to wholeness, as promised in Psalm 119:105, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” Amen!!!