The Power of CR In Tough Times - By Patrick McGinnis

Sometimes in the life of recovering people like us we go through experiences that serve, among other things, to demonstrate how effective and solid (or not) our personal program of recovery is. Like a bank account, faithful and obedient performance of the steps and principles…day after day, year after year…is the equivalent of making deposits into our recovery account for the times in life when things become difficult, as they surely will. John 16:33 says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Well, let me give you an update on  recent trouble of my own.

Picture it. May 25, my wife Stephanie and I were happily exploring the caverns at Linville Falls in North Carolina. If you haven’t done something like this, I suggest it as a wonderful experience in God’s amazing creation that we don’t get to see above ground. There’s an entirely different eco-system going on down there! Now for several weeks prior to that date, I had been experiencing increasing pain and decreased mobility in my hip for no apparent reason. So, while walking through the caverns was somewhat uncomfortable, it was manageable and worth it to share such a cool and beautiful experience with Stephanie (who just so happens to also be very beautiful and cool)! The next day, however, the continued trajectory of pain was such that we decided it best to head home early Saturday morning and, after a pretty rough 9 hour drive, I was in some pretty serious pain. The next morning, Sunday May 28, I was admitted to the hospital for a week long stay.

I won’t bore you with all the details, and besides I’m pretty much tired of talking about it, but the long and short of it is that I’ve had a significant physical/neurological incident emanating from my hip (relative to old chronic back injury). The hip diagnosis is called a hip impingement, which has a physical and a neurological component to it. The back, on the other hand, has way too much going on to get into all of it but pretty much all the lower discs are herniated. Bottom line, between the hip and the back I’ve been experiencing significant immobility in that I’m unable to take more than a few steps at this time. Sitting is incredibly painful, as is standing up. Between the nerve compression in both the back and hip, the nerves coming out the sciatica and down the entirety of the leg and into the foot have pain receptors stuck wide open. At home now, beginning a journey back to wholeness and wellness which includes physical therapy, an ortho back specialist and pain management. At this point, we don’t yet know what the treatment plan will look like.

A friend recently sent me a devotional containing Matthew 7:24. “When you have a rock-solid faith, you won't be moved by what's happening around you. You will have peace in your heart and mind because your hope is in God. When the storms of life come, you won't be moved. "Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock." Which brings us back to the original point, that such experiences can serve to show us how effective and solid (or not) our personal program of recovery is. Is it built on rock, or on shifting sand? It will show us just how much has been deposited into our recovery account, and whether or not we have enough to make it through the certain troubles when (not if) they come along.

In 2 Corinthians 15:9, Paul shares that three times he pleaded to the Lord to take away his Hurt, Habit or Hangup (he doesn’t specify which); “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” Between you and I, accountability brothers and sisters in Christ, over the course of the past few weeks my weaknesses have definitely been exposed from time to time. Particularly around the topic of the pain, which has been excessive and prolonged and has resulted in sleeplessness and exhaustion. At times it has really ground me down and made me vulnerable to bouts of self-pity, and it has also produced some pretty significant periodic anxiety. I’ve been open about all of this to my sponsors and accountability partners, especially my number one in home accountability partner Stephanie. She has seen me struggle…sometimes well and sometimes not…during this time, in ways that are atypical. I am so grateful that the steps and principles provide a pathway to share my weaknesses, and that our CR program has placed such a beautiful and supportive group of people around me! And I want to take a moment to thank you all! For the prayers, for the texts and calls and visits! You have lifted my spirits more than you can possibly know! I am truly blessed!

So here’s where I am today…while down (physically) I’m certainly not out! God is with me, the medical community has been wonderful and sent angels, and I “stand” staunch and strong in the middle of my CR program and my circle of accountability! Life on life’s terms, nothing more. It’s been said that our program is “a design for living that works in rough going.” God, the 12 Steps & 8 Principles, and the myriad tools so freely given to me in CR have uniquely qualified and prepared me to deal well with “such a time as this”. And God has used me to lift up and fortify many members of the medical community who have assisted me along the way, particularly during the long difficult nights that nurses and technicians and other hospital staff must endure. The Holy Spirit had me asking such folks about themselves and their lives and families, and praying for them and the inherent struggles of hospital life. He has given me every opportunity to continue to fulfill my mission during rough going, and I am one grateful down but not out soldier for God!

Lamentations 3:22-23 says, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Although at the starting point on this road back to physical wholeness, I’m confident that God is with me and is moving ahead of me with a wonderful plan! And my part in the plan is to follow His plan, one day at a time! Thanks for letting me share!!!